Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
