It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
