If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
