i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
