can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
