doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
