Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
