She is in my trunk
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
