I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
