maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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