i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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