I don't think brook has ever known best
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
