I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
