and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
