weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
