if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
