ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
