Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
