i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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