Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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