Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
