I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm way too hungover for life right now
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
