Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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