just survived the first fart of the relationship.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
