that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
high people should be assigned attendants
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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