i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
