Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
