he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
