I hate your face
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
