Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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