I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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