what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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