I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
