If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
