There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
