Buhtt sex?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I touched a dick in church today
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
