Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
