I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
