I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
