Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
