I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
