My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
