nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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