nut hugger
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
