everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im holly from the hills drunk
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
