I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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