why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
