guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
