i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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