put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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