i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
